A bibliophile without a book is a scary thing.

We can see this typical bibliophile pacing restlessly among the stacks. Notice her eyes darting hither and fro, not really allowing much time to even read the titles in front of her. This response is caused by too many previous unsatisfying reads. You would think not having a required book to pick up would be a relief to this fickle predator, but that is not the case. Setting her sights on a target is what the bibliophile craves, and without one we see this response time and time again. In her desperation, the bibliophile has just gone to the catalog station—to do what? Without a title in mind, the catalog becomes as useless to the bibliophile as her fruitless prowl through the stacks. Ah, but this is interesting. Observe her poised in mid-step; this notes a slight reprieve from her tireless meanderings. The bibliophile is actually thinking about books she’s been waiting to read. This is a breakthrough. Having a goal, even if it is just in the beginning stages, is a step toward victory for this bookish creature. Now she has picked up her pace and has made the catalog her clear target. Has the bibliophile chosen its prey? Watch her hands maneuver the mouse and keyboard with ease—this is a bibliophile well versed in the cataloging system indigenous to most libraries. The bibliophile is just a few clicks away from victory. But what is this? The bibliophile blows out angrily through her nostrils—a sign of frustration. Perhaps the book she has chosen is already checked out. We see a clear eye roll of defeat—but wait. She is putting the book on hold! Now all she has to do is be patient until the book is returned to the library and our bibliophile will have a definite choice to read. How inspiring! But what will she do in the meantime? We can almost see this question drawn on her face. No worries, her actions seem to reply, as we follow the bibliophile swinging around to the magazines. People and Cosmo will be there for some nourishment until the main course arrives.

Let me tell ya a little something about Twilight.

Twilight by William Gay
So I started (not Stephenie Meyer’s) Twilight. The book is set in the 1950’s, and it starts good enough. A brother and sister have a suspicion that the local undertaker is doing perverse things with the bodies of the townsfolk. They decide to dig some up and find their suspicions were correct. The imagery was strong and morbid and interesting, for the most part. But after the prelude came the scariest part of the book: Mr. Gay chose not to include quotation marks in his dialog! Any author who is presumptuous enough to ignore a major grammatical tool better have some talent to back up his hubris (oh joy, I love using the word “hubris”). But instead I found myself in that mild vortex of reading a page and only at the end realizing I had not really grasped anything I just read. So in short, I did not find Twilight scary, just a tad boring. That kind of boring where you just can’t think of anything you want to do so instead just nap for a while and then when you wake up you’re all groggy and wish you hadn’t have slept. To be fair (which I haven’t really been up to this point) I didn’t finish it, nay, couldn’t finish it. It’s like what famed librarian and reader’s advisor Nancy Pearl says, if you aren’t finding yourself engaged by page 50, it’s not worth finishing. So maybe it gets better. I don’t know, but I don’t care to find out. I wish I had liked it, because then anybody who accidently stumbled upon this blog after thinking it was about Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight would have another book to read. But fear not, accidental reader, for I have scores of other titles on this blog for you to enjoy. Why don’t you click on many of my generous genre topics. You’ll be sure to find something of great interest.

A blog about (not Nirvana's) Heart Shaped Box and (not Stepenie Meyer's) Twilight

So I just finished Heart Shaped Box by Joe Hill and picked up Twilight by William Gay. Heart Shaped Box is about a guy who buys a ghost online. But it turns out the lady selling it worked it so he would buy it and actually the ghost is out for revenge. It started fast and scary, then wound its way to a pretty satisfying (and not really scary) conclusion. I must say there was a night there while reading the book when my cat pushed the bedroom door open and the shadows lurking in the darkness made me think of the very scary ghost in the book. He was all dressed in a suit and carried a chain (complete with razor blade) to hypnotize the protagonist into killing himself and his girlfriend. Oh, and he had creepy eyes that were covered in swirling black lines. His descriptions of the scary scenes made me think about those Japanese horror movies that all happen to be loved and redone by American directors. There were times when the ghost would move in still frames with each action being scarier than the last. Actually "The Grudge" was the scariest movie I’ve seen in a while. I’m talking the American version here. I had seen the Japanese version, but because I was reading the subtitles, I missed some of the action so I didn’t get what was going on, and I didn’t get that the movie had jumped back in time—yeah, I wasn’t as scared. But anyways, Heart Shaped Box was a good creepy read that had some graphic scenes, but definitely propelled me forward.


Next up is Twilight which doesn't seem to be about a love-sick vampire, but may involve the ever adored psycho mortician.

Attack of the killer tom-creepy vine thing

The Ruins by Scott Smith

Plants are not scary. Sure, the potential creepy things that plants house may be scary (bugs, webs, man with a book), but living organisms that get nutrition from the sun and give us oxygen in return are actually pretty neat. Until you read The Ruins. And of course there is more than meets the eye to these creepy vines. They can mimic human speech or cell phone rings; they can move as fast as a person can run; they have acid that slowly digests its victims (and we ain’t talking about sunshine here); and they have a group of native villagers that protect them (you can visit them, but once you do, you can’t leave). Granted, this is one tough plant, and it sort of mimics animal characteristics, so I guess you can’t say they are entirely plant-like. There are a few scary/gross moments in the book, but none that kept me up at night. Still, if you’re looking for a gory alternative to human psychos, check out The Ruins, or the movie which came out last summer.

Oh, what pretty flowers you have.

The better to scare you with, my dear.

some scenes may be too intense for younger viewers

When I was little, we had a Disney book that scared me. Maybe I should elaborate. Inside the book there was this picture that freaked me out. Still not enough? Okay, the full page picture depicted Bambi’s dad, his enraged face charging the viewer. I could never look at that picture too long without having to flip to milder pages with Cinderella dancing or Mickey Mouse doing what Mickey Mouse does. It’s funny the things that we as children find too intense to handle. I haven’t seen the picture in years, but it still carries some weight in my mind. We all have fear thresholds—points that we’re not willing to cross because we know it’s just too much for us. This is a great month to find your own. And here’s a book to start with:
Intensity by Dean Koontz.

Horror books always start by lulling you into a false sense of comfort, and Intensity is no exception. Chyna Shepherd has just been welcomed into her friend’s family’s Napa Valley Home. It is cozy and wonderful and she is looking forward to spending time relaxing with her friend. Then the horrifically awful happens, and Chyna becomes the only surviving person of a homicidal maniac. But she can’t just hide and wait it out, because she finds out that said homicidal maniac has set his sights on another victim, and she realizes she has to do something to stop him. The book takes place in just about 24 hours, making it quite (you guessed it) intense. The killer is very creepy (one scene that stuck with me since I read this book in high school is where the killer watches a spider descend from his web and eats it, to gain its power, if my memory serves me correctly), and the tension builds to a very satisfying conclusion. It’s just that somewhere between the beginning and end it was like staring straight into scary Bambi’s dad’s face for a moment too long, and having to see his face raging at me when I turned off the lights.

Flavor of the Month: Horror

I’m not a coffee drinker, but when I do decide to drink some I decide to drink a lot of it, and get really caffeinated and crazy. It’s more fun than just sipping it (you coffee drinkers do realize it’s not good, right?), and for a few hours I have a memorably jittery experience. This is kind of how I want to tackle this month’s flavor—just horror coming out of my ears until I literally can’t sleep with the lights off, or realize horror is just glorified fluff (or maybe not so glorified—and I think “fluff” is a very poor word choice to describe horror). Horror! The fears we have as children of monsters lurking just out of sight, ready to pounce when we least expect it. Horror! Those same feelings morphed into adult anxieties then reverted back again to those scratchy inklings in the back of our brains. We know we aren’t going to get stabbed to death in the shower, but, just in case, I want to keep my eyes on the curtain as much as possible. What makes us scared? Well, we have 31 days to find out. Let’s go exploring—just don’t stray too far away, the ghosts of the library just may pull you into a chilling embrace.

They're waiting for you.

Catch the non-fiction bug!

Non-fiction month continues with a fury! Check out this list, taken from a bookmark from the famous Reader’s Wall at Main. This comes from the “True Crimes” list, because who can resist a true crime?

Black Mass: the Irish Mob, the FBI and a Devil’s Deal By Dick Lehr
Expertly details the twists and turns of this complex story, painting a vivid portrait of Boston's underbelly and its inclusive political machine, as well as exposing one of the worst scandals in FBI history.

Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic and Madness at the Fair that Changed America By Erik Larson
Not long after Jack the Ripper haunted the ill-lit streets of 1888 London, H.H. Holmes (born Herman Webster Mudgett) dispatched somewhere between 27 and 200 people, mostly single young women, in the churning new metropolis of Chicago; many of the murders occurred during (and exploited) the city's finest moment, the World's Fair of 1893.

Donnie Brasco My Undercover Life in the Mafia By Joseph D. Pistone
In Donnie Brasco, FBI agent Joseph D. Pistone tells the story of working so deep undercover in the Mafia that the truth of his identity became blurry even for him. For six years, Pistone posed as jewel thief Donnie Brasco in order to pull off one of the most audacious sting operations ever.

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
In Cold Blood was a groundbreaking work when released in 1966. Two two-time losers living in a lonely house in western Kansas are out to make the heist of their life, but when things don't go as planned, the robbery turns ugly. From there, the book is a real-life look into murder, prison, and the criminal mind.

Manhunt The 12- day Chase for Lincoln’s Killer By
James L. Swanson
For 12 days after his brazen assassination of Abraham Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth was at large, and in Manhunt, historian James L. Swanson tells the vivid, fully documented tale of his escape and the wild, massive pursuit.

The Night stalker By Philip Carlo
Carlo speculates on the psyche of this chilling killer and introduces an intriguing supporting cast.

Portrait of a Killer: Jack the Ripper - Case Closed by Patricia Cornwell
Jack the Ripper was renowned artist Walter Sickert (1860-1942) according to Cornwell. The evidence Cornwell accumulates toward that conclusion in this brilliant, personal, gripping book is very strong, and will persuade many.

The Stranger Beside Me By Ann Rule
Rule and Bundy were friends. They met in 1971 at a Seattle crisis clinic, where they shared the late shift answering a suicide hotline. Rule’s story as he evolved into one of the century's most notorious serial killers.

Under and Alone The true Story of the Undercover Agent Who Infiltrated America’s Most Violent Outlaw Motorcycle Gang By William Queen
Queen risked his life when he joined the Mongols as bearded biker Billy St. John. His adventures with one of America’s most notorious bike gangs resulted in the convictions of more than 50 Mongols. Queen recounts these two years with a straightforward gruffness that captivated critics.

Hmmm. I don't know, these sound pretty interesting. Better hurry and check them out before they're all taken!