What I was taken aback by, and what was addressed in the
book in between chapters, was how well each letter to Sugar was written. The
letters sound very well thought out, beautifully penned, and each individual
voice rang clear. The letters asked Sugar for advice on all sorts of issues
like love, marriage, family, financial problems, forgiveness, etc.
Perhaps my favorite letter was about a young man who is
currently in college, homosexual and living with parents he is dependent on,
but who look at his sexuality as a sin. He lives under their roof and has been
sent to a camp to “heal” his homosexuality. In his parents’ house he must keep
his true self a secret and even at that his parents don’t trust him. His double
life has him confused and financially unable to abandon a family that, although
painful to deal with, is still his family. He asks Sugar for advice on how to proceed.
In many of the letters, I’d think ‘Oh man, how’s Sugar going
to deal with this tough one?’, and then she would say the most candid, beautiful
response. For example, in her response to the above letter she says, “love based
on conditions such as those set forth by your parents is ugly, skimpy, diseased
love. Yes, diseased. And it’s a kind of love that will kill you if you let it,
sweet pea.” She goes on to tell this young man to get out of this toxic living
environment no matter what it takes. The sincerity and care, yet
slap-you-in-the-face honesty that Sugar uses throughout her responses is
refreshing and sometimes hard to read, but this is not a woman who minces words
when trying to get to the root of her reader’s problem.
Books that are typically in the self-help/advice section are
not normally something I pick up, but damn it if this one didn’t knock me on my
butt and make me analyze myself and the world around me.
Pick this book up. Read one chapter. Read a handful. Read
them all. There’s a little something there for all our aching souls.
~Kristin M.
~Kristin M.
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